Nope, not my daughter...

My daughter would never run around the house for half of the day in her diaper with her fancy shoes refusing to eat anything but the lint balls off of her bluey and 2% milk. She would also never hang over the edge of the bathtub just to get her head and arms wet after she has already taken a shower and then insist of a game of chase and hide and jump on the bed before she gets dried off and dressed with a new diaper...nope, for sure not my daughter.


My daughter would never ever go to time-out for hitting her brother or I in the face, standing on the coffee table or scaling her way to the back of the couch so she can play with the blinds on the front window, or go swimming in the dog water or the toilet, or put my wallet into the dog water on the bathroom floor...nope not da'Suser...she would never do something like that.


My precious, precious child would NEVER EVER fall asleep in the middle of the living room floor at 10 A.M. on top of all of the magazines she threw off the coffee table before she stood on it to reach the couch to stand on the back of it to play with the blinds because she was up once again in order to see HGTV say "Goodnight" at 4 A.M. and go to an infomercial. Then be put back to bed to cry and carry on for the next hour something about J.P., Momma & Birdie...and the desperate call for Daddy. Nope, no way, not my daughter.


Oh, and she would FOR SURE not put on her own winter boots and stand at the front door and SCREAM because she wasn't allowed to play with the orange toothbrush or the Sharpie or the Diet Coke or her brothers video game or her dad's electric razor so she wants to escape us outside...no...not my daughter.


And I would never, ever, ever take photographs of these events and post them for the world to see.

No...not me.

xo --- B.M.