I'll spare you the baby belly photos...

Just take my word for it, this gut is HUGE so it was definitely a great idea to eat 1/4 of a chocolate birthday cake with ice cream, flank steak and buttery grilled potatoes for dinner. If I didn't have an unborn child who felt like he/she was curled up under my right armpit and kicking my back, I would've indulged in a bottle of (maybe even $20) chardonnay. Instead, I took a few sniffs of Golfdad's birthday Crown Royal...almost, the same but actually not even close! -- B.M.