The Mayor of Tulsa...

Or was it Steel Magnolias?

Southern hospitality at it's finest. If I didn't know better I would've for sure thought that I was on the set of the Sound of Music with the Von Trapp family -- the house (although brand new) was a similar style and equally as grand and fancy. Ok...so fancy doesn't even begin to describe the Mayor's house. The place we ate sat 75 people comfortably -- it was the "lower level" and included a mural of the city of Tulsa, a ceiling that had all of the constellations lit up, a real size movie theater, a giant bar, a giant wine cellar and a spa complete with locker rooms...for 2 people, in Tulsa. It was big enough for a Saks Fifth Avenue fashion show runway and they even served chardonnay in real wine glasses (that's fancy for me).

There were a lot of bad pantsuits and ugly shoes because the crowd -- with the exception of a few player wives like yours truly who didn't get the memo, consisted of women ages 70 and over whose loved to boast about their husbands position with the PGA of America. These were not PGA TOUR wives but rich, old women who wear Estee Lauder and Chanel and love to go to "luncheons." I managed in my fancy new shirt from TJ Maxx and my white capris although I noticed that I was missing my 2nd or 3rd diamond ring along with my lipstick, ratted hair and even a portable fan to keep my face cool so that all of the makeup I was wearing wouldn't melt off (not kidding someone actually had one of these.)

I walked away with a $25 gift certificate to "Saks" - you know me and that store are on a first name basis. I gave it to the volunteer/member of Southern Hills who was in charge of the women's outing that I sat with on the shuttle bus. I am pretty sure they don't let sassy 3 year olds in that store carrying a lemonade and eating a chocolate cookie. I know for sure that if I showed up in my Keen flip-flops and Diet Coke in hand that they wouldn't give me the time of day. Not to mention the fact that the $25 would probably only be good for a sample size of lipgloss. I decided to save myself the humiliation and give it to someone who has a diamond the size of my kids left eye because clearly she needed it. I also got a bottle of chardonnay (now THAT'S hospitality) a new purse/bag type thing and a bunch of perfume samples. Those are going to come in handy tomorrow because I can guarantee that after spending 5 hours walking around in the blistering heat watching Scott tear up the golf course I will probably need it, even after a shower.

Now, I am here getting ready to finish my book thinking about what a hot shot golfdad from T.C. needs to eat for dinner in order to shoot the course record tomorrow.

Look for me on TNT and CBS Sports -- I will be the fat lady in the ClimaCool floral shirt with Scott Hebert painted on my face, holding a mini fan so it doesn't melt off.

xo