Try as I might, I can't measure up!

In case you have been living under a rock, I wanted to remind you that Jeepers is in kindergarten FIVE DAYS A WEEK. He leaves at 6:45 A.M. and gets home at 3:41 P.M.. He is also the only 6 year old in his class (Michigan State Law requires kids to be 5 by December 1 so there are some 4 years old in his class) and he reminds me everyday that some of the kids on the bus and in his class just aren't that nice. While I had every intention of blogging about how there are people that you don't like everywhere, this post seems to be going a different direction...so more on life lessons later. Anyway, each morning at the ass crack of dawn, we peel back his covers, he gets dressed, he eats his french toast, sausage and hash browns and he enthusiastically throws on his coat and shoes and heads to the bus stop.

Before you get a vision of a child skipping to the bus stop, I might add that he gets a ride down to the bus stop in the car because it is over 1/2 mile away and it is pitch black outside and there was a rumored bear in our neighborhood and we know for a fact there are coyotes and cats that people let run wild. I hate cats. But anyway...the above timeline is how I think that is how this morning stuff goes down. I am usually conscious for the alarm clock portion but then drift back to sleep until the beast screams from her bed that she wants to see the moon or she has to go potty or she needs "milky more."

I have only been in charge of the short-order-whatever-you-want for breakfast routine one day (today). Since the golfer was gone for the evening for the first time since school started (or since he was gone on a school day), I set my alarm and was downstairs starting a pan of hash browns 5:45. I was rockin'...I had lunch packed, the library book located, a matching pair of socks and it wasn't even 6 A.M. AND I hadn't had any caffeine yet.

At a few minutes after 6:00 A.M. the biggest of the little blonde creatures that live in this house made his way down the stairs, got dressed, wrapped up in a blanket, and sat at the counter as I served him his breakfast. After just a couple of bites he proclaimed, that although he really didn't want to hurt my feelings, he had to confess that the breakfast was not really tasting that good this morning. I could tell he felt bad, but REALLY did not want to eat it.

Right after he made his confession, I decked him with a frying pan OH WAIT, I only thought about decking him with a frying pan. Then, for fear of him not eating until he got home from school since the stench of the kids who eat cheese fills the cafeteria with an odor so fierce that it is impossible for anything he eats to taste good, I filled up a bowl with Raisin Bran and milk and went in the other room to cry and open my Diet Coke.

I hate morning. Tomorrow I am sleeping in.

The end.

xo -- B.M.