Questions that I am commonly asked:
Q. How are you feeling?
A. Fat, pregnant, sleepy and in need of a Diet Coke, bottle of chardonnay and a king-sized bed
Q. Are you going to find out what you are having?
A. No, we are not finding out what we are having.
Q. You are crazy, why aren't you going to find out?
A. YOU ARE CRAZY...do you seriously think I am giong to find out because YOU want me to? Do you want me to call you everday starting week 21 and call my unborn child by name and complain that it is taking too long to get here and I should've never found out what I was having?
Q. Don't you want to decorate the nursery?
A. I am not sure if you noticed but I am pretty sure babies can't SEE anything but black and white for the first few months of their lives...so we will just wrap our "green" baby in newspaper for a while. I have everything I need to function, and lucky for this kid...I will not be buying all of the clothes he/she is going to wear for the rest of their 90 year of life before they are born. Although I could be good if I bought stuff for up to age 30 because if he/she takes after me there will be a DYING NEED for Stacy & Clinton's assistance anyway.
Questions that golfdad is often asked (as interpreted by B.M.):
Q. Dude, you are so lucky to be a golf pro!?
A. Yep
Q. Dude, it would like be totally cool if we could stack my charity golf outing foursome with you that way we would win for sure.
A. If you have 1 good player and 3 shitty ones, your team still won't win. How bout' I give you the dozen golf balls your team might win if you played with me and call it good.
Q. Dude, do you golf for free?
A. YES....but every person I meet who likes to golf does not.
Questions that Jeepers Creepers is often asked:
Q. Do you want to play golf like your dad?
A. Ummm...I like to hit stuff with the club but not always golf balls
Q. Your mother claims that your dad is a good teacher, how do you feel when he tries to make your hockey grip into a golf grip?
A. Dad, can I have a SPRITE? Don't they have SPRITE here?
Q. Do you like to play golf with your dad?
A. I like the snacks and the golfball pyramids, my mom likes the cocktails and the fact that if she doesn't play that me and golfdad will leave her for up to 5 hours on a warm weekend day so she can read her book in the sun without us!!!!
2 comments:
i LIKE THE NAME HARRY!! BUT THAT IS BECAUSE I HAVE A HARRY. HAHA JUST SO YOU KNOW I DONT CARE IF YOU DONT CARE THAT I CARE. LOVE JESS
2 things-
First things first, NO HAL! Are you kidding me???
Second, I think that you are also forgetting another bonus of not finding out. Everyone buys better gifts when they don't know ahead of time. Instead of the clearacne find from the mall they bought ahead of time, they are so excited when they do find out that they run to the store to buy an outfit to go with your green baby gift! ENJOY!
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